How to Make a Lemonade Cocktail

Well, I have joined the ranks of the unemployed (again), and the desperation has not set in yet. Rather, I am viewing this time as an extended vacation of sorts. I was laid off, because they had lost a large standard market account, and as there were only two people in the standard market department, and since I was the less experienced (and connected), I had to go. So far, I have put out resumes, and went to two career fairs (which weren't offering anything except sales and retail positions).

While I don't want to disappoint myself with unrealistic expectations, I am viewing this time as an opportunity to pursue the career I want. In January, I start my final semester of grad school, and unlike the last 5 years of my post-baccalaureate life, I don't want a job, just for the sake of having a job. I am putting good vibes into the universe, and a ton of resumes.

Let's see what happens!

Three Years to Thirty

In July, I will be three years away fom turning thirty. While I am not dreading this, there are some things I need to do to get my life in order. I am happy -- met an amazing man, a year away from finishing grad school, and I am gainfully employed -- but it's time to turn up. The problem is, and always has been, getting started. I suppose instead of writing blogs, and posting introspective fb statuses, I just need to start carving away at the vision I imagine for myself. To be honest, I don't have a clear vision, I just know that I want to be in a slightly different place. Being creative, being engaged, and being inspired. I fear that insurance, and even, hr is not going to do this for me; however, you need stability and sustanence to do the things you love (well, for me at least).

I am going to make an assignment for myself. I need to write down where I see myself by thirty, and start working toward those goals. Some of those goals:

1) Get into a bikini next summer (Shallow, I know)
2) Seriously work on, and change behaviors/patterns/habits that are detrimental to my growth (personal, academic, professional)
3) Cook (I've already started that, and my attempts haven't been too bad)
4) Read more (Just downloaded Chimamanda Adiche's Americanah)
6) Write!!! (More blogs, more personal entries, more poetry)

Let's see how this goes.

Notes on a Scandal

On my lunch break, I caught up on the latest episode of Scandal and the more I watch this show, the more I'm considering giving it up for lent. Shonda Rhimes is starting to bother me with her choices in men for Olivia Pope. We live in a world where people claim race doesn't matter, but it does. If I were to get involved with a white man, more than likely, we may encounter some opposition from his family/friends/outside world. And with Olivia being involved with the President of the U.S., there are various factors you have to take into consideration, such as her race, his being married to another woman, and what the world would say if he showed up with Olivia, instead of Mellie on his arm at the Inaugural Ball.

Not to say, I'm a part of the camp that think people of color should have a pristine presence on television, but I do think we should have a more realistic represenation. I've been reading online comments about this past episode, and of course there are those people that feel like: Olivia got played by Fitz, but it happens in life, and then there are others that feel like the whole situation is an affront to black womanhood. To be honest, I'm in the middle. Regardless of race -- women get played by men, women get involved with married/involved men, and essentially women make bad choices sometimes when it comes to men -- however, their affair being interracial does add a layer of complexity, whether people want to admit it or not. I understand as a writer, you want to be true to your craft and create characters true to your imagination, but as a black woman, you would think Rhimes would take this huge oppotunity to write a complex, flawed character who fixes elections and covers up crimes, but has the love of a good, black man. Instead she has a character that is morally ambivalent, and has a love life that is a mess. She pushes away a man who is who her equal, to sneak around with someone who is married, and despite saying he loves her, his actions say something else entirely.

A Starting Point . . . of Sorts

Currently Reading: Philida (Andre Brink)

Kind of in the same place, yet in a new one. Spent two months partially unemployed; my love life is still complicated/non-existent, and my weight is still a struggle. There are some silver linings, however, I did pretty well my first semester of my MPA program; finally found a career choice that I'm actually excited about; got a new job that pays weekly and decently; bought a new car; going to Vegas in June for a wedding; and slowly, yet surely, paying off my debt. So, I would say this girl is finally getting her sh*t together. Now that I have the professional going, I need to focus on my personal life and the things that make me truly happy, like wine (ha!), writing, and good books. As of late, in spite of the awesomeness going on in my life, I am kind of bored. What else is there beyond the ritual of waking up, going to work, school, whatever, and doing it all over again the next day?