http://www.wimp.com/womangym/
A couple of days ago, I saw this video and it was super inspiring to me. I am in the process of trying to lose weight, so I have started going with a high school classmate that lives near me. There is something to having a workout buddy during your weight loss journey. Even though I have increased my gym visits, I just really started thinking about what I am putting into my body and after being chastised by my gym partner for eating unhealthily, I am going to try a pasta-less diet for a month. When she suggested this to me, in my head I was thinking, "um, no!," but I want to see if I have the willpower to do it. Funny thing, my cabinet is currently stocked with rice and pasta. And to be honest, I think pasta is my favorite food. In addition to eating it almost every day, when the bf & I go out, I am a sucker for a linguine! Particularly a seafood linguine. But when I eat out, I will focus more on fish, veggies, and other proteins. I know I should, but I am not giving up on eating out! I love trying new and delicious foods and posting them to social media. Maybe in time I'll stop eating out as much, and find other social activities in its place.
Since graduation from high school, I've gained about 64 pounds. In college, I gained the freshman 15 + some extra. And of course, everyone had something to say, from my parents to people I went to church with. Of course, it hurt, and sporadically I would try to go to the gym or eat less, but my love of food outweighed my desire to be slim. And I always justified my overeating by saying, "I'm fat anyway, something extra won't hurt me." In hindsight, I realize I used food as a crutch. When something bad happened to me, I ate something. When a man I was dealing with treated me horribly, I ate something. When I felt inadequate, I ate something. Now, don't get me wrong, since the onset of puberty, I've had curves, and always had someone saying if you lose a couple pounds, you would be perfect, but I wasn't one of those girls who felt like I needed to be super thin to be attractive. Even now, I still feel pretty attractive.
In other, not so new news, I moved out from my parents house. Even though I have been officially living with my bf for 5 months, Wednesday and Thursday I moved the rest of my stuff out. It was particularly symbolic for me, because I wasn't just moving my clothes and toiletries. I moved everything, including books. I think I have more books than all my personal possessions combined. Even though I haven't read all my books, these books comfort me. I still have books given to me by my parents when I was child. I have books from special people who have passed away. I still have my favorite book from childhood, Maizon at Blue Hill. In the fifth grade, my parents transferred my brother and I from a small Christian school to a slightly larger Catholic grade school. My first year, I was so lonely, and I was always in trouble. Not for fighting or being mischievous, but for not doing my spelling homework. I figured I didn't need to; I was the best speller in the class. In any case, I was resigned to the back of the class with other miscreants and troublemakers. Incidentally, it was located right next to the books and instead of paying attention, I immersed myself in these books. My parents say I was always a bookworm, but I don't remember loving books until I was about ten. Anyway, I think keeping my books and some other personal artifacts at home was a way of keeping one foot in the threshold, just in case things didn't work out. But 2014 is going to be my year, I am claiming it. In terms of accomplishing goals and bringing dreams to fruition. So, in everything I do, if it's weight loss, school, work, or love . . . I am giving my all to it.
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
How to Win Friends & Influence People
“Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great.”
-Mark Twain
One of my good friends bought me this book for my birthday, and while I have yet to read it, I think it will provide me with some much needed tips on professional and personal interactions. Perhaps, it will be my next selection as I just finished Octavia Butler's Earthseed series. I read horoscopes for fun, but astrology may be on to something. Cancers are tough on the outside, and soft on the inside. Which is completely me. And by tough, I don't mean going around beating people up, or being verbally abrasive, but by having a guard up, and being willing to write people off for small things.
On the flip side of being a cancer, you are a nice person, so people will take advantage of that. That is something I have struggled with my whole life, both in my romantic relationships and in my friendships. At the ripe ol' age of 27, I have finally learned that you have to balance the soft and the hard parts of yourself. On New Year's Eve, I did some cleansing. I deleted people from my facebook account that I finally needed to let go. The deletion was not from a place of bitterness, or dislike, because who knows what will happen in the future? It was a recognition that the season for our interaction has ended.
The older you get, the smaller your circle. And at this stage in my life, I want surround myself with good energy, and with people who have my best interests at heart. I also realize that while I need to be more careful with who I let in, I also need have to be a good friend as well. My first agenda in being a good friend is forgiveness, and openness. Back in college, I had resentment toward a friend because I felt they weren't a good friend to me, and in honesty, we weren't that good of friends. I assumed we were because of how long we had known each other. So, after years of feeling like this person only wanted to be friends with me when she had no one else, I told her how I felt. Of course, it didn't go well, but I felt relieved because I had been honest. Later, when I thought about it, I was just as much to blame, because I recognized what was happening and didn't address my feelings at the time. Something similar happened with one of my closest friends this past year. I was upset at something that had occurred and rather than address it in the moment, I waited months to say how I felt. I was justified in feeling the way I did, but wrong for waiting so long. Friendship, like love, is a gift and it has to be cultivated and appreciated. This life is too short to spend time doing things, or being with people that you don't have to.
-Mark Twain
One of my good friends bought me this book for my birthday, and while I have yet to read it, I think it will provide me with some much needed tips on professional and personal interactions. Perhaps, it will be my next selection as I just finished Octavia Butler's Earthseed series. I read horoscopes for fun, but astrology may be on to something. Cancers are tough on the outside, and soft on the inside. Which is completely me. And by tough, I don't mean going around beating people up, or being verbally abrasive, but by having a guard up, and being willing to write people off for small things.
On the flip side of being a cancer, you are a nice person, so people will take advantage of that. That is something I have struggled with my whole life, both in my romantic relationships and in my friendships. At the ripe ol' age of 27, I have finally learned that you have to balance the soft and the hard parts of yourself. On New Year's Eve, I did some cleansing. I deleted people from my facebook account that I finally needed to let go. The deletion was not from a place of bitterness, or dislike, because who knows what will happen in the future? It was a recognition that the season for our interaction has ended.
The older you get, the smaller your circle. And at this stage in my life, I want surround myself with good energy, and with people who have my best interests at heart. I also realize that while I need to be more careful with who I let in, I also need have to be a good friend as well. My first agenda in being a good friend is forgiveness, and openness. Back in college, I had resentment toward a friend because I felt they weren't a good friend to me, and in honesty, we weren't that good of friends. I assumed we were because of how long we had known each other. So, after years of feeling like this person only wanted to be friends with me when she had no one else, I told her how I felt. Of course, it didn't go well, but I felt relieved because I had been honest. Later, when I thought about it, I was just as much to blame, because I recognized what was happening and didn't address my feelings at the time. Something similar happened with one of my closest friends this past year. I was upset at something that had occurred and rather than address it in the moment, I waited months to say how I felt. I was justified in feeling the way I did, but wrong for waiting so long. Friendship, like love, is a gift and it has to be cultivated and appreciated. This life is too short to spend time doing things, or being with people that you don't have to.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
New Year, Same Ol' Me . . . Kind Of
“If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.”
― Audre Lorde
On facebook, I’ve been noticing a trend when it comes to New Year’s resolutions—people are rejecting them—instead of cramming their hopes and dreams into this annual portal, it seems people are more forgiving of themselves. I love new beginnings. For example, I will be encountering a new semester in a couple weeks, and in a couple months, I will be graduating with my master’s degree. In the near, yet indefinite future, I will be embarking on a new career. Since this is a new year and all, I considered completely wiping out my previous posts, lest prospective employers potentially stumble upon this blog and come to the conclusion that I am completely unemployable (haha). But then I figured, I wouldn’t be me without the struggle, and the dreams that I’ve had these past several years.
Along the lines of making a resolution that’s not quite a resolution, I have a few, of course! But my resolutions are no different than personal goals I already have in place; my only modifications are to not explain myself or justify my decisions. Decision-making can be hard for me; as I like to do things that are not too controversial, and are in my comfort zone. In 2014, I am stepping out of my comfort zone (even more than I have in 2013), and I am going to follow my bliss. While I’m not doing anything crazy, the opinion of my family, bf, and friends are very important to me, but at the end of the day, I can only be accountable for my own actions, or inaction. Yolo or carpe diem can be cliché and sometimes a cover for stupid decisions, but I don’t want to look back on my life and be full of regret. And I won’t.
― Audre Lorde
On facebook, I’ve been noticing a trend when it comes to New Year’s resolutions—people are rejecting them—instead of cramming their hopes and dreams into this annual portal, it seems people are more forgiving of themselves. I love new beginnings. For example, I will be encountering a new semester in a couple weeks, and in a couple months, I will be graduating with my master’s degree. In the near, yet indefinite future, I will be embarking on a new career. Since this is a new year and all, I considered completely wiping out my previous posts, lest prospective employers potentially stumble upon this blog and come to the conclusion that I am completely unemployable (haha). But then I figured, I wouldn’t be me without the struggle, and the dreams that I’ve had these past several years.
Along the lines of making a resolution that’s not quite a resolution, I have a few, of course! But my resolutions are no different than personal goals I already have in place; my only modifications are to not explain myself or justify my decisions. Decision-making can be hard for me; as I like to do things that are not too controversial, and are in my comfort zone. In 2014, I am stepping out of my comfort zone (even more than I have in 2013), and I am going to follow my bliss. While I’m not doing anything crazy, the opinion of my family, bf, and friends are very important to me, but at the end of the day, I can only be accountable for my own actions, or inaction. Yolo or carpe diem can be cliché and sometimes a cover for stupid decisions, but I don’t want to look back on my life and be full of regret. And I won’t.
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